Why must life be so hard? It's easier to just not think about the tough stuff and just live life in the moment. I wish I could do that. I just keep thinking about things I have no control over and then things I have complete control over, but feel powerless... Does that make any sense? Yeah, probably not. It's late and I'm just writing to clear my mind.
Today I went to a capstone meeting at Ashland and turned in my capstone intent form and application for graduation. Yes! It's really happening! The light at the end of the tunnel. It's here! I just have to complete my capstone (inquiry) and then I graduate. Seems easy, right? Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it. I chose an inquiry on the exploration of technology and the importance of technology and adaptive technology in the special education field for students with multiple disabilities. I'm actually really excited to explore new technologies and implement them into my lessons. It should be very practical. Since I am paying $1,400.00 for this "course" it better be something I can use.
My date on Saturday is fast approaching. I wouldn't say that I am nervous. I actually don't know how I feel about it. I'm not super excited, but not dreading it. I don't have any expectations. It's the first real date I've ever been on. It's kind of like a blind date because I really don't know anything about him. I do know what he looks like and some things about him, but other than that....nothing. I guess it's a little exciting to get to know someone new. It's just that I've grown so comfortable with how my life was going. Yes, I do want to get married and start a family. I know that I'm 28 and I should probably help move the process along, but I imagined myself marrying my high school sweet heart and best friend. Isn't that every little girls dream? I'm sure at some point I must stop thinking about my dream and start living my reality. My best friend and high school sweet heart does not love me the way that I love him. The sooner I start truly believing that reality is the day that I start to give someone else a chance. I just hope it's not too late.
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